ASK the RIGHT QUESTION

Do not be afraid to ask a question, even a stupid question or get the help you need it when you get stuck.

The first event I recall was the entrance exam in high school math. I had scored only 6/10. I passed, but in my family 10/10 is normal, 9/10 is acceptable, but 6/10 is a big failure, unacceptable according to my Dad’s standards. He is an ex-professor in mathematics.

I remember at our family dinner, my father asked.“Why do you only have 6/10?”

Instead of explaining my problem, I talked back with the craziness of a teenager, “So what? I passed; I still got into high school.”

My answer triggered my Dad’s anger, maybe because he had a bad day. He throws away his dinner. I was shocked because my dad never behaves that way; he is always calm and patient with everybody, especially me. A tear ran down my face. I'm terrified, feeling sorry for myself. I wonder what if I knew how to ask a simple question, instead of doubting my ability and maybe this would not have happened.

I was a problem kid, I didn’t want to study hard, however, mathematics, physics, and chemistry are fun for me, because I do not have to remember anything.  I didn’t pay attention and didn’t study for the exam because I was confident that I could pass it easily.

However, in the math exam, I got stuck with one question that I could not solve. I watched other students finish and walk out of the room. I wonder why I’m so stupid this time because I always completed the 2 hours exam within 20-30 minutes, and have plenty of time left to check again. I wonder why I can’t solve the problem this time.

My mind flooded with doubt and guilt, “How stupid I am! How stupidly overconfident I am. If I spent the time studying, I would not be stuck this time.” I was so worried that my Dad would be disappointed with my failure.

This is not the first time I had a low score. I had a low score intentionally, by leaving a blank answer on the exam used to choose gifted students to study together. This is because I did not want to move to a new school, a new classroom, and have new classmates. My sisters, my brother went to the gifted class, except me, because I didn’t want to study hard. I just wanted to have fun with my classmates. But this time for sure I could not solve the math problem, while everybody else could.

“How stupid I am, I am really stupid for sure!” I worried.

The student sitting next to me asked: “Which one did you have a problem?”

“Number four,” I replied.

He secretly throws the answer to me. How kind of him. However, I never opened it, my ego was too high.

First, I worried that if I pick up and opened that answer, I may get caught and my Dad’s reputation would be ruined because he did not accept cheating. Many of my teachers were students of my Dad. What would they think about my Dad having a stupid, cheating daughter? I’d rather have a low sore than be cheating. Was it my ego or my honesty? I am not sure. IT IS WRONG TO BE RIGHT?

The second reason, I didn’t pick up that note was because I felt that I deserved the bad score, not having studied hard. I was stupid, though I thought I was an honest person. What do you think you would do in my position?  

I was terrified of the thought that I am really stupid, that I would not succeed in the academy, or in life. I regret the past, worry about the future and forget the present. Two hours passed by, I had to submit my paper.

Disappointed, I stood in the front of the question written on the board, and found that I had written the wrong question “minus sign” (-) instead of “plus sign” (+). I sat far away from the board, near the window with the light reflected on the board making it harder to read. Wow! I felt relieved. I was not stupid as I thought.

Note: As I was crying so much, my dad felt guilty as he listened to my explanation. He got my vision checked, finding out that I had very bad near sightedness. From then on I  had to wear prescription eye glasses. Please do not judge my parents. They did the best to put the food on the table during that hard time. They didn’t have time to check for each of their children's vision. My parents are the best for me!

I wish I knew how to ask the right question, checking the question, instead of wasting time doubting myself. I wish that I opened the note my friend gave me, I would have known that I had written the question down incorrectly. What if I get caught? Could I explain? I didn’t know.

From that experience in my early life, through the rest of my life, every time I get stuck, I put away my ego, I don’t make assumptions, no longer guessing or doubting. I learned how to ask many questions directly. I now know how to ask the right questions, asking for help from other people. In this way I am always able to find the solution for any problems that may come up.

Albert Einstein said: " If I have an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask, for one I know the question,  could solve the problem in less than 5 minutes."

That is invaluable wisdom. I always remember that, applying it for the rest of my life for my academy degree, my marriage, my health, and my business. I was never the smartest student with highest scores in the class. I have made mistakes, and I learned a new lesson. 

AKP SKINCARE created from asking many right questions about my health. In the crisis point, when nothing seems right even though I did all the "RIGHT" things. I did not make an assumption that was my  Genetic fault. I audaciously ask many right questions and have found out the solution for my health, the knowledge leads me to create AKPSKINARE.  I'll write about that in another blog.

 

How about you, what lessons have you learned that have had the largest impact on your life? Please share with us akp@akpskincare.com